What the “H”ell by Thomas Savino

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Hillary Clinton’s off and running – officially, that is (since she’s been selling coffee mugs and wool ski masks for well over a year now).  Now that it’s official, she has, of course, a Clinton 2016 logo.

Like all good logos the Clinton 2016 image is crisp, clear, and above all simple.  Above all, it’s intent is to help her garner in the presidential election at least one vote above all.

As a liberal, lefty, Commy, hippy bastard, of course, I want a leader with much higher Marx.  My preference for a candidate with more integrity who is less swayed by America’s corporados and genuinely concerned with the wellbeing of the average American of all stripes and colors would be Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren.  I suspect I could file that desire among the many in the category of preferences that would include me being one among three in a wild night of debauchery with the other two willing participants being Zoe Saldana and Scarlet Johansen.

I’d swap that wild idea with a more realistic chance to bust a three with Elizabeth and Bernie instead; it could help loosen their shared sometimes austere image, wrangle support among the bisexual base and base bisexuals, and could help me rid my obsession with Zoe and Scarlet.  However, Fox so-called News would undoubtedly break the story and beat it to death framing the lurid details of our personal and private night together as evidence of an essential character of depravity, dragging both Sanders and Warren through the mud taking away all chances of either being elected even though possibly boosting the ratings of my weekly radio show.

The Hillary logo as noted is crisp, clear, and simple.  It is crisp because it is angular.  There are no wishy-washy swirls or curves any where in it.  Perhaps this element of the design is geared to eradicate too many bulbous imperfections evident in the candidate’s cherub-like frame.   Critics of Hillary’s physique point out that in Iowa it’s good she’s doing the rounds, not so good that she’s being the rounds.

Last April during an on stage appearance in Las Vegas, what was thought to be a protestor threw a shoe at Hillary narrowly missing the squat candidate but widely hitting the bull’s eye in the tickled hearts of that red state’s base.  However, it was later learned that the perpetrator was not so much a thrower but a pitcher.  She was a fashion expert trying to hit home to Clinton (and not hit Clinton herself) the idea that whatever shoes the pudgy Hillary wears while espousing her platform she must always wear platform shoes.  But, the act while trying to suggest Hillary elongate her visual appearance only served to elongate her speech forcing casino management to bump Cirque du Soleil and cancel the free prime-rib offer.

If Clinton’s orbicular shape has yet to soften the candidate’s sharp image and highlight her as someone who can take the edge off, I argue that her logo’s seventeen corners only serve to give her an even more edgy air.  While edgy is a good air to breath for those who get the points (all seventeen of them) it could be toxic for the masses; it would give her an even sharper image. A sharper image is great for selling solar-powered, hand-cranked cellphone-battery chargers, but not for winning elections.

Logos sometimes forfeit their clarity for metaphor, especially when a community tries to make a design into a landmark.  Take St. Louis’ Gateway Arch.  It’s an arch.  O.K., that much is clear.   Clear too, but troublesome, is that fact that it’s a silver arch immediately placing St. Louis second to a fast-food franchise having not one but two golden arches.  Additionally, St. Louis’ arch is called “Gateway” tying it’s name with a long defunct computer manufacturer only flirting with success while actually dating bankruptcy.  (Talk about not clear.  What was with Gateway Computer’s black and white Holstein cow imagery?  Nothing says high tech like a bovine motif, huh!  Excuse me for saying, but they doomed themselves to udder failure).

The only people who might find St. Louis’ Gateway arch logo clear are black people there who because of racist police in this town of not two but one, not a golden but silver arch find their living their to warrant their saying, “I’m only half Lovin’ It.”

As for Hillary’s logo and clarity, well, it’s clearly an “H” with an arrow.  Until her logo was published, an “H” with an arrow directed injured auto travellers where to turn to reach the E.R.  Is she trying to say her becoming president is if not an emergency at least urgent?  Is the “H” indicative perhaps of a great “operation” featuring a leader who will not pull the plug on needed and healing social programs but one who might manipulate a contested budget surgically removing the pork from a bill’s barrel belly?

Then there are the simple foreboding elements of design that portend trouble to progressives.  There are of course two colors: red, and blue.  Each color is equally represented filling exactly the same spatial area.  This suggests equality in numbers and a sense of equitable cooperation – Red/Republicans and Blue/Democrats willfully coming together to project this “H” this Hillary into the psychic fabric of one, unified America.

But, hold on my dear gluten-free, non-GMO, corporate-bashing progressive friends and frackivists.  The colors in the logo may be equal, but where does the arrow point?  To the RIGHT!  And, in accord with the current campaign-finance dollar ratio per ideology, among all the edges and corners of the seventeen, fifteen are right angles.  Haven’t the Kochs, the Popes, and the Adelsons bought enough politicians to promote the Right’s angles?  And, like a finely brewed pekoe at a “tea party” what color is the right-pointing arrow itself?  RED.  If we miss all the other sixteen angles, we can all at least get that point.  No wonder Dems are blue, there’s nothing left.

Some may say the arrow is pointing right simply because we – the people – read from left to right.  Others will say having the arrow red is indicative of Hillary’s desire to include everyone in the American discussion.  On that point, if I were her logo designer I’d have taken out the arrow and replaced it with a rifle.  Having a red arrow might get the Sioux and Navaho vote, but not Republicans.

So, I remain a bit fearful and suspect she may sell out progressive values to the highest bidders.  But, ultimately, like so many on-the-fence afraid to elect a woman to lead this nation, to me the logo’s “H” is a simple plea, a nudge suggesting, “Oh, what the “H”ell.”


TJ Savino hosts a weekly satirical internet radio program “Savino Veritas: In ‘Whine’ the Truth” heard live each week and available 24/7 on Juiced Talk.com in podcast form. Savino’s work has appeared in “Brooklyn Today,” “The L.A. Daily News,” “The L.A. Times,” “The Glendale New Press, ” “The Optimist” and more. He has also co-hosted and co-produced the weekly radio comedy program along with Frank Cotolo on “Dead Air” heard in the 1970s.

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