by Beckie Cannons
I am a moaner and I am a bitch. There, I’ve said it. It’s out. I moan about other drivers. I bitch about what people wear and what they look like. I’m sarcastic about other people’s achievements and negative about change. Basically, the nice and polite veneer I often show is very thin. But it can be great fun to have a moan and bitch — I have to admit it’s at someone else’s expense — but is there anything wrong with a bit of schadenfreude?
Unless we identify our own issues, we’ll never be able to address them. I’ve identified I’m a moaner – I can deal with that. But, I’m also very positive and full of energy. I’ll help anyone (at least once) and really want to make this world a better place for everyone. Maybe, just maybe, I have a right to moan and bitch?
Stop Moaning – Do You Have The Right?
That leads to me to those people who I should really moan about but in reality make me so angry I don’t. Just like me, they moan, but I call them the “side-line moaners.” They’ve done nothing to have any perspective on what they are “moaning” about – and more importantly they are going to do nothing about what they are “moaning” about. Typically, they just moan about why they can’t or haven’t done or got something – due to bad luck, family, home-life, work, money, time, etc.
Unfortunately, life is hard work. You have to make the effort to get new experiences. If you’re not growing, you’re dying. When I see someone driving a flashy car, dressing well, having fun, dancing amazingly, playing a musical instrument, enjoying nice food in a nice restaurant, or going out ‘dressed’ I always assume that they have done some hard work, made a big effort, and sacrifice was made for them being there and doing it (but I may still have a bitch about their nose or the alloys on their car).
It Is a Journey – Not a Destination
Nothing in life comes for free and you get out what you put in. You also make your own luck. You build your own confidence and you develop our own skills. Luck is when hard work meets opportunity – and you make both.
I don’t play the lottery (OK, when there is a massive prize fund I do). It’s a “mugs game” because the chances of winning are stacked against you. Like I said, I don’t believe in pure luck! You create your own path. Without question people are dealt some bad cards in life. Being transgendered is one of them. Why the hell would anyone want to be like this? It’s what you do with it that counts. I’ve spent years dealing with my transgender issues. I’m still dealing with them. I’ve developed coping strategies to mask it, from simple denial to more elaborate mind-games to convincing myself everything is normal. I’ve coped with having a family and bringing up children and dealing with my issues, somehow prioritising them all and somehow wading through all sorts of issues to be in a place where the ground is firmer.
An excerpt from Step Up & Get Out.
Read the full article in Fourculture’s issue one.